Some Stuff I Consumed for the Better in 2016: Books

2016 was a really good year for Zach and Books. It's very rare that I wonder consistently, from book to book, whether or not I'll ever be satisfied again after such an incredible narrative. I'll detail them in the order I read them this year (not including smaller/unfinished works that I partook in this year).

Music for Chameleons by Truman Capote - A wonderful collection of short stories by Truman Capote. The book was dusty and hidden in the bottom of an old box from ye olde college days, a gift from an old English Major compatriot in my freshman year who was sad to see me go on to major in Biology for a whole whopping half-semester. She graduated later that semester and told me that I had a mind for stories and that I'd enjoy this and another book she gave me by Willa Cather, "The Troll Gardens". Once more an unknown author. Surrounded by the effluvia of my pride, I took the books graciously, she graduated and got married like all Biola Graduates are wont to do, and I promptly forgot them until I'd been graduated with my english degree hung on a wall these two years, simpering in my personal slough of despond.

Truman was delightful. The previous year was filled with Roberto Bolaño and an unhealthy load of Haruki Murakami, and I'd left no room for my humor or wit to be engaged. These two authors, focussed on the depravity and the unknown, had left me grasping in the dark. Seeking reprieve from my (beautiful) edition of "Moby Dick", I found "Music for Chameleons" sitting on a stack of things to sort in my room for the new year and thought I'd take that with me on my day off, a light book for a light day. It was halfway through my bagel sandwich, choking, that I realized that I'd been too flippant with the nature of this collection of short stories (or recollections, if you prefer), and found myself hypnotized and entertained more than I'd been by a book in years.

Capote's short stories seem to be small vignettes of his own fantastical life, some almost a prototype of sorts for his "In Cold Blood", the greater known of his works (which I have yet to read, as well). His writing is economical and sharp, and his dialogue more realistic than the conversations you have with your loved ones. It goes without saying that all the recommendations I make on my blog come with high commendations, but I feel that of all the books featured here this would be the most approachable and appreciated by the everyman.

New York Trilogy by Paul Auster - I haven't read much Raymond Chandler in recent years, "Maltese Falcon" continues to collect dust on my shelf, and I've only read one Agatha Christie mystery in the last four years, but I'd like to think that Paul Auster's "New York Trilogy" has absolved some of these egregious sins. If you were unaware by the associations, Paul Auster has crafted three novella in the noir/detective/mystery genres whose underlying message focuses on identity. A pretty, you know, vague and huge topic.

I thoroughly enjoyed the three novella ("City of Glass", "Ghosts", and "The Locked Room") as a deconstruction of the crime fiction genre, and the cold stare into the deep abyss of solipsism. A hard-boiled detective can only be so hard, so boiled, and Paul Auster does dances elegantly on the fine-line between the heavy-handed and the obscure. His characters are simultaneously relatable and ethereal (or infernal, depending on the book), and the conceits are always fascinating and provocative.

Come for the existential dread, stay for the crippling anxiety.

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin - One of the best pieces of science fiction I've ever read, and my first dive into an Ursula Le Guin novel. Perhaps the greatest uncertainty the average reader has nowadays with being recommended a book within the genre of sci-fi is the perceived execution: joining some unfortunately-named character (typically consists of X's and unpronouncable jumbles of consonants with all manner of weird apostrophe and accents), we venture through some post apocalypse/proto-human land wherein drinks are blue, things fly, and some hugely controversial modern thought is celebrated while some common practice is lambasted as ancient or beneath their culture, etc.et .ce .t c. e.t c.e t. c.e t. c. et. .c e.t . c.

Le Guin either knows to avoid this or just knows better altogether, as her characters and settings are real and corporeal despite their nomenclature and physicality. The daughter of a writer and an anthropologist, she learned the delicate balance of a world and its inhabitants and her writing proves so masterfully in "The Left Hand of Darkness". The concerns of the characters are entirely human and, I think, and interesting topic for musing given today's societal context; her understanding and execution of a sexless race belies a deeper elocution about sex and culture, both elementary and sophisticated.

If you enjoy a healthy dose of sociology with your fiction, look no further; Le Guin is the master.

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole - I believe I've done an authentic Nathan Lane guffaw twice in my life. The first time was when I was told men were inherently good. The second was when I was sitting in a Hidden House coffee shop reading "A Confederacy of Dunces" and had to leave the shop because I was disturbing my fellow reformed-hipster-xtian customers and a grandma.

I've laughed before, plenty of times. In fact, unlike some, I'm unable to number the times I've laughed here, in my time on Earth. But never before have I laughed so raucously because of the written word. Never before have I had to put a book down and catch my breath, repeating lines out loud as though to preserve them in this fleshy realm before banishing them back to the pages in my hands. Never before have I beheld the belch as such an incredible bodily act, the intestines as such a holy labyrinth...

John Kennedy Toole is one of the last great satirists we've seen—and I mean that beyond the humor, beyond the vulgar jokes that are sooooooooo so so so good. Toole captures a unique facet of human depravity that can be found so commonly today in the Internet Troll. Ignatius Riley, the main character of this fantastic novel, embodies the One and True "M'lady", the "Edgelord", the abnoxious "Anon", that infernal Youtube commenter... And in witnessing the utter ridiculousness of such a person, a certain levity is bestowed upon the reader. "Oh, I'm not the only one that's noticed folks like this!" or "Well, I'm happy to know that they have a rough go of it as well." or "babhbwhbahbwahbwhabahahhahahahahah", all proper responses, and a metaphorical peptobysmol in this future where our every action is witnessed and rated by a host of anonymous ne're-do-wells, hellbent on the destruction of goodness and progress. The book, similarly to Capote's aforementioned work, did wonders for my well-being and probably added two more years to my life.

If you're looking for a good romp, this is it.

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco - The final book I finished before the end of this year, and what a work it was. Umberto Eco claims that the reason he wrote this book began with the simple premise, "I began writing in March of 1978, prodded by a seminal idea: I felt like poisoning a monk". But, as he concludes in a post-script to the work, he had to build quite a world around it in order to achieve a work of this nature within the specific parameters he had constructed.

Surely the reason this book has wiggled its way into one of my favorite books of all time was the story, but perhaps moreso than the story was the methodology with which Eco wrote it. Piece by piece, he constructed the narrative based on meticulous historical fact, until the story that formed before him was much more nuanced than the poisoning of a monk; it became a conversation on 14th century Christendom, and probably one of my favorite discussions on Christendom as a whole. The work is simultaneously humbling and affirming, with a sobering reflection for the reader: not much has changed in the controversies of Christianity since the 14th century, and perhaps before that.

The work is not necessarily a Christian one, though the subject matter may be so. It merely tells a tale within that context, which is such a rare and wondrous thing this day in age where anything remotely Christian must either tie itself warts and all to the religion, or deny it and claim obstinate apposition. There is a fear today of objectively viewing the religion through the perspective of fiction without underlying intentions, I think a weakness on both fronts.

"The Name of the Rose" is a fantastic murder mystery, and has actually had a more acute effect on my faith in recent years than any theologian or book on such topics. And I think that's something that anybody should experience, despite any grievances or misgivings they may have with Judeo-Christian thought in general, as Eco is able to write in such a way that you are hermetically sealed from any proselytizing. A masterfully written work and my favorite of 2016.


Honorable Mention

A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin - A fascinating world, but nothing you've never read before. The story and character are fairly predictable. I am excited to read the other two books if only to explore more of Le Guin's Earthsea universe.

Some Stuff I Consumed for the Better in 2016: Animation

It is unfortunate, an contrary to my nature, that I was unable to consume much of any animation this year. There were small things, to be sure, but as for things that would make my list at the end of the year... not so much. The spirit of Polonius has descended upon me this night and bestows: brevity.

Kubo - My favorite animation of the year, and perhaps one of the most compelling stop-motion films I've seen since Studio Laika's previous work "Coraline". It follows a typical narrative, flawlessly executed, with memorable characters and unforgettable magic, possible only in this niche medium of animation. Along with the works of other phenomenal visionaries like Hayao Miyazaki and Frédéric Back, I'm excited at the prospect of someday sharing this movie with my children/clones/reanimated thralls.

Osomatsu-san - It's a damn shame that this show has a 50% chance of being Totally Not Up A Person's Alley, but that's the fact of the matter. Osomatsu-san is the funniest gag anime I've ever had the pleasure of seeing in my life, but to enjoy it at all one must know more than their fair share of otaku culture... a facet of my life I reveal somewhat begrudgingly. Osomatsu-san is crude, disgusting, and heavily referential, pandering some of its funniest aspects to only the grossest of nerds, and I gobbled every bit of it up like the swine I am.

Truth be told, if you've watched more than two or three anime before then you'll probably be able to get by with this one, as Crunchyroll (the website airing the show, as well as many other anime) does a fantastic job of providing some of the most obscure facts necessary for comprehension alongside the subtitles that you'll already be reading. And who am I kidding, I'm sure everyone will get the Mad Max homages, and the mahjong jokes, those obscure lubricant references...

Mob Psycho 101 - "Mob Psycho 101" was an absolute blast. A psychokinetic blast... haha, it's about telekinetic superchildren, so, that's a fun little joke. With plenty of homage to Katsuhiro Otomo's "Akira", the creative mind behind "One Punch Man", ONE unleashes an incredibly psychotic visual experience following a young telekinetic adept, Mob, as he learns what power is locked away in etc. etc. et.ce.tc.et.c.ec

It's a really good show whose humor begins and ends with its lampoons and throw-backs to other works in the genre. At first it may sound like an over-done idea, but I think that's the point of Mob—similar to how "One Punch Man" focusses on a hero who can never lose, we follow a psychic who has infinite potential and also cannot lose. Rather than this being a weakness, I believe it's respect for the audience, because we are relieved of having to sit through and watch him awaken to his potential after filler episode and filler episode of him working on some superficial or unrelatable idea like physical or psychic strength. Instead we are given fast-passes to character development and world building. The flashy battles are still there (and they are mind-numbingly animated, incredible work that surpasses any other day-time show) and he still does have to reach milestones with realizing his power, but we are given more of a connection with the characters in "Mob", unlike "One Punch Man", whose plot is nonexistent (not that that's ALWAYS a bad thing, but..) and relies too heavily on action and small jokes.

If you're looking for something that kicks the hell out of "Dragon Ball Z's" multi-episode battle sequences (or any other action-anime, for that matter), go no further than "Mob Psycho 101", where you will not only be succinctly rewarded with such, but will also walk away with a more meaningful character and world.

(also: the holographic effect with psychic powers will trigger the euphoria you got when unwrapping a holographic pokémon card as a kid, so, like, there might be an inherent bias here)

Honorable Mentions -

Spirited Away in Theaters - i saw this in theaters and it was really good and the song in the credits (featured up top on the desktop version of the blog) made me cry out loud.

One Punch Man - this was okay but not nearly as good as mob, so mob wins.

that 40~ episode chunk of One Piece that failed to rekindle the fervor 

Some Stuff I Consumed for the Better in 2016: Television*

*I'd like to say that this was television, but who even uses their television sets anymore? Can we call "television series" "television series" anymore? I don't know. I guess we can say "series", or "shows", or "streams", or?? Just sit and have a think for a bit about all that.

So.. let's talk about "shows"(???).

The Wire - I binged this all in the span of two months. I think it's incredible and it's my favorite. I've spent more time talking about this show than breathing this year, so I'll leave it at that. Watch The Wire if you wanna be a better person.

Westworld - ALRIGHT... Westworld is really good. I think it's incredible and it's my favorite. I've spent more time talking about this show than breathing this year, so let's keep going.

Now, the ideas that Westworld presents are as old as time—how many works have you seen featuring an oppressed group rising up against an oppressive class system and conquering it? Man yeah, I FEEL that, it's everywhere!! And that's basically all Westworld is, but I think that's a very surface-levely way of looking at it. Westworld is really well-written, with interesting characters, and has a good story. And it looks good. But I mean, so is The Wire. But it's a little different, because Westworld is in a different setting and has a very different cast.

It's difficult to write about a show that you're more suggesting than dissecting, and it'd be a shame to ruin some of the show's incredible twists and turns that are only possible (in my limited knowledge.. maybe it is possible to others) with Christopher Nolan's brother Jonathan Nolan, who wrote the conceits with his wife Lisa Joy. But subject-wise we could go a bit in-depth. It's a different breed of cat from The Wire, focussing on the presence or absence of humanity with the heavy irony being that humanity has lost its humanity and artificial life might have a better idea of the thing. I said "heavy irony" because it's true, and also because the robots in Westworld are made out of heavy metals.

Westworld is real fun and I highly recommend it if you can afford an HBO account, hands down. Even if you can't afford one, but I think you enjoy the show more if you know you're paying for it.

Better Call Saul - This was really good! I think people should check it out. I liked it quite a bit. Novel idea. I'm excited for another season. I laughed out loud! Saul's middle-aged hijinks are some for the ages. Really good! Check it out. I liked it. Not quite The Wire, but.. Exciting. LOL!! Check it.

The Crown - John Lithgow is a luminary, a lamp unto my feet.

The People v. O.J. Simpson: An American Crime Story - I think this show deserves a lot more respect and attention than it has received this year, and especially in light of recent years. Given the content and message presented, this is probably the most iconic show for 2016.

In a society growing increasingly aware of race relations and racial tension, this work comes as an important (I'd argue: necessary) retrospective on the O.J. Simpson trial and why it was the phenomenon that it was. With as much coverage as it received, how could the results could be so controversial—how could a man with all that evidence pointing against him lead to a non-guilty verdict? The creators of this new "American Crime Story" series were brilliant in introducing the show through the context of the Rodney King riots, right away setting the scene for the racial ramifications that would come into play and define this trial of the century.

Though, you may be wondering, how can one engage with this show knowing the (unfortunate) ending? The show isn't so much about the trial as much as the people whose lives were changed by it and the underlying issues that come with how America deals with race. For that last reason alone it is worth watching.

The Wire also does that well.




Tune in at some point tomorrow for something else.

Some Stuff I Consumed for the Better in 2016: Games

[cracks knucks] alright, let's get to the gritty nitty pity of two-tousand-sitty (2016).

Spelunky - Take a trip with me down memory lane—it's 2012, you're in your underwear in an apartment covered in hair and the smell of freshly-sprayed aerosol wafts thru the air (it's "Lavender Laundry"), mingled with some other unmentionable scent. It's 7:44 PM and you have a paper due the following morning on some cobbled together college topic of Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" and Edward Said's "Orientalism", that seemed good at the time, but you're starting to wonder will actually illustrate that you're a two-bit hack that somehow conned their way into upper-division english courses.

So, anyway, you're looking for some sort of mental release for this pent up frustration and innate desire to conquer something. That's when you fire up the dust-blasting Xbox 360 and turn on Spelunky, a game that demands perfection, a fickle lover you will not please. A perfect alternative to the futile essay you've left to rot.

It's an older game, so it might be odd to see at the beginning of a post on games I consumed for the better in 2016, but I think this was the year that I truly did benefit from it as opposed to those darker college years. Like I said, Spelunky is merciless and mean and awful, but the thing about that is: it never does wrong, masterfully designed with airtight controls and fluid gameplay. The game is incredibly succinct and straight-forward: you must spelunk to the depths of a forgotten tomb and relieve it of its treasures, and go to hell itself if you desire to rip the largest rubies from the throne of great Yama himself. It's a game that lets you make of it what you will—will you be satisfied with a quick run-through to the finish line for a new record, will you try to collect every gold brick and jewel you can scavenge, or will you just explore the nooks and crannies for more secret levels/characters/weapons?

I've never beaten the game, actually. I've played well over a couple hundred hours in my years spent with it, and a majority of them being this last year as I prepped for grad school in between study sessions and application work, and I've only ever barely grazed the surface of the very basic ending. But it's not about beating the game for me anymore, somewhere along the line I just kept playing it because I just liked to play it. It's difficult to find a game nowadays that you can just keep going back to. It's pick-up-and-play performance is much more nuanced than any basic mobile phone game, and yet it feels easier for me to approach than an extended match in something like Clash Royale (by the way, may that rest in pieces) or even Angry Birds, two games that are really popular for their easy-access and addictive qualities.

Anyway, I like it, you should check it out sometime. You can also play it with up to three other players locally, but I'd only recommend that if Everyone Can Have Fun. Otherwise it is a scourge and a blight.

Enderal - For those of you who know me well, you will know I'm A Huge Dork about Skyrim. And if you were friends with me in my Junior year at college, I'm So Sorry.

Anyway, I won't wax anon about any more Dark College Stories, but yeahhhh Enderal was right up my alley. It's a free, fan-made overhaul mod using Skyrim solely as the base for the game. That means assets and engines and all the other doohickies that put the pieces of game code together, but it's its own game, a sequel in fact to another mod of its type for the previous Elder Scrolls game Oblivion called Nehrim. Enderal is basically Skyrim if: it had a better story, focussed more on physical world and lore density, and had much better mechanics that comprised the gameplay. It's fantastic and I was able to get sucked in for another 60~ hours despite the unknown hundreds of hours I've spent on Skyrim in the past—though they may at first seem aesthetically similar, any ES fan worth their salt will notice very quickly that this is a game of tougher stuff.

Enderal is a free download that you should check out for suuuuuure if you have/liked Skyrim and are interested in playing a game that takes its best aspects and makes a much better game. A world and story you'll actually care for and remember fondly in the years to come (as it's a perfect length for returning to in time).

Pokémon Moon - I feel a little odd about saying this is my "Game of the Year", but it was definitely the winner of my "Most Relaxing/Rewarding Time Spent in this Year" award. Pokémon is old, and it hasn't actually changed very much at all in a very long time. You find pokes, you catch pokes, battle pokes, and the game ends at some point when you meet the standard 8 Gym Leaders and obliterate the Elite 4, the last thing standing between you and (if you so choose it) the Meta-Game. For a lot of people this is fine and dandy—the only difference from generation to generation is a graphical improvement, some minor details with mechanical makeup, and roughly 100 new pokémon to hunt for.

But if you're a Snob like me, it's very difficult to justify playing the same thing over and over from generation to generation when you know there are millions of other games that are Cool and New and doing Great Things that are pushing the medium forward. Pokémon then gets kinda hard to enjoy! When Alpha Sapphire came out a little while back I beat the third gym and called it quits—it was one of the prettiest Pokémon games at that point, but its wash-rinse-repeat formula had started to fray at the edges and I just couldn't be bothered to care. Games like Yokai Watch (very similar in the collectible monster genre) were surging in popularity in Japan, beating sales for Pokémon merch, and giving The Pokémon Company a run for its money.

Yada yada yada, long story short, we know how this weird little blob of me talking about Pokémon not doing so hot ends, though. Pokémon Go was coupled very well with the hype of Sun and Moon's announcement and eventual release, featuring a lot of original Gen 1 pokes that even your mom could name, so it was no wonder that the sales would be the greatest of any Pokémon game launch (and Nintendo 3DS game launch, for that matter) of all time.

Sun and Moon did switch things up. It's a beautiful, tropical game (which already puts it at an 8/10 overall for me) that cherishes friendship and invites fans both old and new to enjoy fantastic creatures and share them with their friends. Spending whole days and late nights trading and battling and just spazzing about the game with friends reminded me of my effervescent Gameboy days, rekindling youthful excitement for just Having Fun, helping my niece figure out where to go next, and spending an embarrassing New Years Eve-ning getting walloped by friends and foes alike... The game is far and away my favorite in the series, but more than enjoying it as a fun game it was a great reminder of why I enjoy playing and sharing games in the first place.

Honorable Mentions

NiER Automata Demo - i'm convinced that this game demo is my game of the year. kbye.

Dark Souls 3 - i'm sure it would have been great if i'd finished it.

join me at 9PM tomorrow for something else

Some Stuff I Consumed for the Better in 2016: Movies

I thought that I had seen more movies in 2016, but it turned out that I was only bludgeoned with anxiety by three of them. Let's Talk.

Shin Godzilla - A really interesting discussion on the structure of modern Japanese government that makes you feel like you actually know what's going on over there. Digging its scaly heels in right away, the film wastes no time getting to the action. Unlike his recent iterations in kaiju flicks (movies with big monsters fighting each other, for lack of a better cultural explanation and time constraints), Godzilla resurges (ehehe, it's localized title is "Godzilla: Resurgence", so that's a nice little easter egg for the fans) as metaphor for The Bomb.


This is probably the film's greatest strength, returning to its roots as envisioned by Ishirō Honda (even using large portions of the original soundtrack to drive home this point). Godzilla as natural disaster, utter powerlessness and futility in the face of eldritch horror. Hideaki Anno directs this iteration, the first Japanese-made Godzilla since "Godzilla: Final Wars" in 2004, and you may recognize him (if you're a big old nerd like me) as the creator of popular anime Neon Genesis Evangelion, which borrows heavily from the kaiju genre, enriched with heavy-handed mysticism and psychodrama. Anno's nihilistic horror in the face of destruction is palpable and goes hand in hand with his vision for a modern Godzilla as metaphor.

Enjoyable as it is on paper, it is not without its controversy in application: Anno's desire was to portray, as realistically as he could, what would happen in the modern era if Japan were to face a godzillian threat from the perspective of the Japanese government, which can make the film very difficult to jive with as the titles of government officials and subtitles (as it is not voiced-over) create a pollution of visuals that can almost physically jar the audience. Personally I was a big fan, as it seemed to illustrate the inundation of information and futility of said information in the face of such a cosmic threat. The ending may also be somewhat unsatisfactory to some in the sense that no real answer to the government's problems is proposed, just hope that mankind can learn from its mistakes. If the mysterious last clip of the film is any indicator, I believe we can assume that the problems with the governmental system may lie not within the systems themselves but within an inherently deeper problem in humanity.

Maybe the monster wasn't Godzilla at all, but the friends we'd made along the way...

Whiplash - If you've ever played an instrument before, maybe this movie will give you staggering anxiety like me!

I was never the most dedicated to my instrument, the piano. Other than the weekly lessons, I would try to wriggle my way out of daily hour-long practices with every conceivable excuse. I was at that tender age where rebellion was endemic to my nature, and since I was a golden angel when it came to schoolwork and behavior in all social circles, it naturally leaked out in the area with the least consequences. Though, when the weekly lesson would inevitably start, a cold sweat would break out on my brow as I full-well knew that I could not sight-read the simplified "Good King Wencenslas" sitting in front of me (true facts: after nearly 10 years of piano I was never able to sight-read sheet music), and my teacher Marcia Cuneo/Steve Schroth would ask me: how long did you practice this week?

The shame and the fear and the butt-clenching that I experienced in those days came back, full force, within minutes of Whiplash's first 10 minutes. Rather than a "Ray" or "August Rush" vibe, engaging with a musician and wishing the best for their indelible passion, I feel that it was more akin to witnessing the sociopaths of "Gone Girl" or "We Need to Talk About Kevin" and the developing horror of knowing there was no return. J.K. Simmons performance is perfect and also "The Worst", "I Hate Him", "Please Turn This Off", and "I Long For Death".

That said, it's an incredible film. The producer even faved a tweet I made about the movie stressing me out, so I might have a biased opinion about it all.

To think that people could yell at each other like that, for money!!

The Handmaiden - Perhaps my favorite and least talked about film this year—least talked about on my end because, well, it's hard to talk about Korean lesbian murder dramas without giving people very specific ideas about you that could either be Very Good or Very Very Bad.

An example: during one of the films sex scenes, my sister was summoned by the Lord Our God at that 1AM hour to ask me a question about some such engagement we had the next day with a group of friends, and found her brother huddled in a dark room watching an inexplicable tangling of female bodies by himself. After pausing, rewinding, and explaining to her how it all fit in, how it wasn't what it looked like, that it would contradict my nature to do such a thing, etc. etc. etc., I still am not convinced that I'll ever be able to sell her on the idea of watching a film like this as entertainment.

So it goes. (I'm allowed to say this at least once every five years because of my English degree. This is a thing.)

Park Chan Wook (director of one of my favorite films last year, OLDBOY) brandishes a dark saber, sharp with wit, slender in design, and cutting to the bone. It's difficult to speak to specifics, for fear of betraying its haunting moods and setting, as it is a movie best experienced with no prior knowledge. In fact, I've said too much.

Except, that, well, you should be careful with all the sex stuff. Learn from my mistake.

Honorable Mention

Muppets Christmas Carol - first christmas movie to make me cry in 6 and a half years


meet me in the pit at 9PM tomorrow for some nerd talk

Some Stuff I Consumed for the Better in 2016: Music

2016 has shaped up to be a sharp shape, a shrapnel-y shape, an absolutely absurd tesseractian horror picture show of a shape, and if any shape were to have prophetic faculties I'd venture to say that this one mutters darkly of evil things to come. I was thinking this at midnight as I hurtled down Antonio Parkway at 70 MPH in my dying green '98 Honda Accord, blasting Charles Mingus' interpretation of "Moanin'" out open windows into the lurid orange glow that haunts the skies of Rancho Santa Margarita in those forsaken after-hours, my sweet'n sweaty collar popped and the sickly smell of Frapp Hour sticking to my cuticles and armpits; the summer of my discontent.

Charles Mingus tapped into something that I had stoppered up and let fester during my first year of real and grueling retail work in this nightmarish interim between school and career that we Millenials hollowly refer to as "haha goddd, just workin' 😜". In an effort to avoid culturally appropriating jazz to sound like freedom for someone like me who enjoys so many pleasures and privileges, I'll just say how good this music was for venting my frustration during some of the more aggravating hours of my young and otherwise enjoyable life.

"Moanin'" is originally by Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers from the titular album of the same name (and my introduction to the work). Later Jon Hendricks would add lyrics that seem to encapsulate the song's mood, and a perfect anthem for The Year Of Our Lord 2016 if there ever was one:

Every Mornin' finds me moanin' 

Cuz of all I the trouble I see

Life's a loosing gamble to me

Ev'ry body knows I moanin'

Every evening I am moanin'

I'm alone and crying the blues

I'm so tired of paying the dues

Ev'ry body knows I'm moanin'

Lord I spend many a days and nights alone with my grief

and I pray, really and truly pray

somebody will come and bring me relief.

Every mornin' finds me moanin'

Cuz of all I the trouble I see

Life's a loosing gamble to me

Ev'ry body knows I moanin'

The song gave me joy, tempered my anger, and gave me a rhythm to rail with (and against, in the case of my steering wheel, and this is where I apologize to my steering wheel for the vigorous sessions we spent together on that damnable commute in the late hours). Music holds mystic power that drifts closely to the miracles and mysteries of our frustrating and beautiful lives (proven fact), so it should be no wonder that it proves to be an excellent salve for confusion and dealing with the multitudinous things that are outside of our control.

* - * - *

I took a break to shower and eat and browse the news at this point in writing and saw the news (or rather, reaction to the news) of Carrie Fisher's passing and feel a more complex conclusion is needed in light of the subject matter discussed here. Not for Carrie Fisher in particular (though may she rest in peace), but for the overwhelming anger that has erupted so many times this past year in response to various celebrity deaths and social phenomenon.

Maybe I'm overly muse-y, on this my third cup of coffee and in light of this tragedy, but I think Mr. Rogers was onto something when he spoke on people being more concerned with information than wonder, with noise rather than silence. So for now, I'll encourage silence and reflection, along with my favorite for processing sadness, a gentle night-cap for 2016 as a whole.

Join me at 9 AM sharp tomorrow morning for some Hot Takes on movies that I consumed in 2016. Hopefully a less sobering experience.